The Best Conflict Manager Ever

First of all, me-di-a-tion is not "med-i-tation". As strange as it seems, people often get the two confused.

Mediation is a structured dispute resolution process that helps people with differences successfully and peacefully manage or resolve those differences.

Although mediation can be done without the intervention of a third party neutral, more serious conflicts require the services of a skilled mediator. For most mediations an attorney is not necessary, but you can use one if you feel more comfortable.

Oh, by the way, there is a connection between mediation and meditation. "Meditation" describes a state of concentrated attention on some object of thought or awareness. It usually involves turning the attention inward to a single point of reference. In fact, a good mediator has to be a good listener. He or she has to concentrate their attention on what the disputing parties are saying in order to understand their true interest and thereby help them formulate workable solutions to their dispute.

Absolutely! In fact, people resolve their own conflicts everyday using skills they have built up over a lifetime of interpersonal interaction. People have been mediating for as long as people have had disagreements.

For instance, your neighbor has an apple tree that hangs partly onto your yard. Each year a number of his apples fall into your yard. You don't like to clean the apples up when they fall and you have no other use for them. You with your neighbor talk. You learn each others mutual interest and arrive at a solution that satisfies both your interest. Maybe the resolution is that you pick up the apples that have fallen and your neighbor pays you for the returned apples.

Another example might be commerce related. You are a store owner selling washer parts. You put in an order to your supplier indicating that you need a lot of a specific type of bearing for sale to a customer. You let your supplier know that the shipment has to arrive within two weeks for the sale to be made. The supplier's shipment does not get there until three weeks later. You have lost a sale worth $5,000. You call the supplier and tell him of the loss and learn what his interests are. You learn that the shipping agent failed to place the items on the carrier in sufficient time. You both agree that the supplier will file a claim against the shipper for the lost sales of the supplier. You further agree that you will return the parts to the supplier and he will share the proceeds of his recovery against the shipper to partially make up for your loss in sales.

These examples of resolving conflict yourself cover every aspect of your life, interpersonal, business, daily living, etc.

There are, however, a small percentage of disputes that for one reason or another have escalated to the point that a neutral third person needs to assist you in resolving those differences. That is where we can help you. If it is a work problem, we can facilitate conversations with you, your supervisor or your co-workers that will help you manage the situation and allow you all to get back to productive working while maintaining your team goals. In interpersonal or other areas, we can help you work through your difficulties so you reduce the stress and strain of unresolved differences.

So go ahead and don't be afraid to work on your differences yourself. If the situation gets too sticky give us a call at 612-824-2616 (We can return your call to avoid your incurring additional phone charges), or email us at Blackwell & Associates. We can assess whether or not you need conflict management intervention. If you do not need our services we can give you tips on working toward resolution on your own at no cost to you. If we can't handle your situation, we will refer you to one of our associates in your area who may be able to assist you.

Mediation is private and confidential. All parties in the mediation have to sign a confidentiality agreement to continue in the mediation.

Mediation is less expensive than other forms of dispute resolution such as lawsuits.

Mediation has a very high success rate. (Over 80% successful resolutions)

It is faster than litigation or arbitration. Some court cases take up to three years just to get to trial. (Neil Vidmar, a Duke Law professor, looked at 895 lawsuits filed in North Carolina over three years, beginning in July 1984. The average time elapsed from the filing of the lawsuit to trial was twenty-six months; a few cases exceeded five years.)

In cases of interpersonal conflicts, the dispute may never be resolved without some positive intervention such as mediation.

The parties retain power to determine what the settlement terms are in negotiated agreements.

On-going relationships can be preserved in mediation.

The people in conflict build valuable negotiation skills that helps them manage disputes in the future.

The parties to a mediation own the conflict and the solution(s).

Mediation reduces stress by allowing the parties to "tell their story", or "vent", in a safe setting.

Mediation helps the parties to, "expand the pie", hence the results of mediation through the interaction of the parties is often better than any of the parties can recommend alone.

Parties to mediation usually reinforce communications skills that they then take away from the mediation session.

Mediation brings a sense of closure to conflicts.

Mediation agreements tend to hold-up over time, and if a later dispute results, the parties are more likely to use a cooperative form of problem solving.

According to a study by Accountemps, through a survey of 150 senior executives, managers spend 18 percent of their time resolving staff personality conflicts.

Managers tend to be overloaded as it is so any time away from working on the company's goals can hamper their effectiveness. Call or email us at blackwell_associates@earthlink.net to receive our Tips on Managing Workplace Conflicts.

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